things have just been... a little hectic to say the least, like i'm not even worried about my surgery, it's just no big deal anymore. I've had friends in the hospital with major surgery, a family member having a stroke...
The word I chose today is strength and I'm not only talking about the strength to power through and work out... I mean, yeah the strength I've gotten since I started this I'm proud of, but i'm also talking of the strength one can have in day to day life.
Sometimes my strength is what gets me through the day. THere are days where it's just a struggle to get through and I'm not being dramatic about it, it's just part of the BPD. I think the females in my family are particularly strong and I get it from them. And this blog is for my Mom and Grandma whom I know read this and are 2 of the strongest women i know. And i'm glad I inherited some of that strength. Some days, especially right now, I know, one, maybe both don't feel as if they are but they really truly are. and I love them both very much, even if i don't say it much...
Also to my grandpa, (who was the previous mentioned family member) I love you so much and i'm wishing for your speedy recovery. i wish wish wish I could be coming up there this weekend with mom but with my surgery, I'm not allowed to travel.
But like I said, my surgery doesn't really worry me anymore... it likes... things started happening and I'm like, this is a minor surgery, it's nothing compared to what some family and friends are going through, you know? and I honestly almost got super pissed at someone the other day who's freaking out and threatening self harm.. because of being demodded in some online chat and i'm sitting here thinking... you know, you can't really compare problems between people but i'm thinking, like... it's just a chat. how could you let someone or something have so much power over you that you want to cause self harm... and this is coming from someone who suffers BPD and knows all about dark thoughts and whatnot and I've been low, i've been in a dark place sometimes for no reason but nothing and no one would push me that far and it just... upset me so much cuz i consider them a friend and I sat there and listened to them and felt bad for how they were feeling and what they were going through but later when i needed to talk, when there was things going on in my life... it always got steered back to this issue and it hurt... and yes, I was upset...
But there I go off on a tangent... I guess i just needed to get that out...
When it comes down to it, Life is full of stress, and we all must find some strength to push through and push past it and we all have that strength, you just need to find it.
how do i combat stress? yoga.. plain and simple. hmmm... should get mom onto that asap...
I was gonna have this out yesterday but you know me... i start talking about feelings and it takes me longer to write...
But down to the last couple workouts... yay :)
Lisa-Marie’s 3 Exercises:
3. Commando Push Up & Mountain Climbers 4 sets 4
Seans 3 Exercises:
1. Shoulder Lift & Squat & One Leg Lift using a sandbag 6 6
2. Round the world using a sandbag 8 9
3. Squat & Press using a sandbag 7 7
I have next workout done, i just need to post it, until then...
Peace love and Harmoni
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