day5, week 2
100 High Knee Skips
100 High Knee Skips
100 High Knee Skips
25 Straight Abs
25 V Abs Left
25 V Abs Right
25 Bicycle Abs
Totally unrelated note, anyone watch Todd and the book of pure evil? Jason mewes is in it and it's just... awesome, rude, crude, a little gross at times and awesome. the 2nd season finale just showed in Canada and i'm just like whoa!
ANYWHO!!!!
I know it's really hard to stay positive all the time, for some people, even some of the time. I've been talking the last few days to a couple friends, about staying optimistic and taking it one day at a time, sometimes even one step at a time.... One was marveling at the fact that I appear to be so positive, especially considering how the last 16 months have been for me, mentally, emotionally, physically... I feel like I've been put through the ringer but as I told a friend, I was tired of just.. existing. That's all i felt like. Like i was existing and not doing anything and I just had enough, I didn't want to do it anymore because I was so miserable.... unfortunately i think i had to reach that point on my own time to truly understand it, so i'm gonna keep going and keep pushing, because just existing....why? why be like that?
I know how hard it is to get away from that as well, i really do. You're stuck in a mindset, you feel trapped, you don't know how to claw your way out. I wrote it all out. Writing does help me. Some friends who are feeling the same, i told them to talk, just let it out and sometimes that's all you need is someone there who will listen, not judge you and just get it and I also know how hard it is to be able to talk to someone about how you're feeling because when it comes down to it, a lot of people don't get it because they haven't been through it. I don't want my friends going through that so i'm trying hard to make myself available to them because i know how dark and scary it can get sometimes. You're not alone, even when it feels like it, you're really not and I had to keep reminding myself about that too and yeah it is hard.
but now, I'm staying optimistic. many ask how I can do it? well there's a few theories ranging from, hey! you hit the UP part of BPD to, well your exercising regularly, to I'm so fricking stubborn that I refuse to go back into that mindset.... but perhaps it's a little bit of each. But that whole cliche, if i can do it, you can do it too.... I kinda wanna say that. Even though we're all different, I just know that if i'm strong enough to come back from that darkness, my friends can too. I know they can.
See how optimistic I am? Lol
Sorry this took so long to get out, but once i start talking about my feelings, and things that have happened to me, It takes a bit longer cuz it's still a struggle, even though I am trying to be more open and stuff... and yes, I promised a recipe lol. That will be coming out before bed, kay? kay.
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